hellyeahyums:

the-gingerdancer:

sextronautt:

how can lawyers argue without crying 

or swearing

if i went into a courtroom i’d be all

now you fucking listen here you little cumslut 

"he has been found guilty

"HA IN YOUR FUCKING FACES, BITCHES."

nokiabae:

my biggest fear is I’m married & my husband says, “let’s cut sugar out of our diet” so I have to leave with the kids in the middle of the night

crunchier:

hot boys are so fun until you realize they don’t want you

deathpup:

first rule of fight club

  1. no fightin!…shakira shakiraaa

the-arena-ballerina:

neptunain:

christmas is so much worse as you get older it’s like “what do you want this year?” “a sense of purpose”

"a career" "financial security" "a sex life" "tuition for grad school" "alcohol" "a nap" "socks would be nice"

more